could never see any other

Latest instalment

  • I Can Now See

    The world doesn’t look the same as it used to.
    And what was it I was thinking?
    I can’t think:
    everything coming and going,
    my memory leaving.
    May the next life
    when I am young again,
    be as wonderful as this one.
    And as the women pass,
    they turn.

    I can now see
    how everything came to be
    in the garden at home
    above a blue silvery sky
    the whole of life inside me.
    Up through the light
    I reach the end.

    You love me and I love you
    love is everything
    and everyone.
    In the silence of space
    you will know
    love goes on
    after we are gone.


All instalments

  • Wandering Around

    Was wandering around
    wondering what to do.
    and on the sea wall is written
    “God loves you”

    The wind has dropped and there’s this thought;
    it comes from nowhere-
    she won’t be back,
    I won’t be seeing her.

    I lift my face and up came the gulls
    over the surveillance camera.

    Below, street litter, and along the pier,
    over the cafe an ocean sky.

    Life can bring you a friend
    and life can bring it to an end

    I’m sitting in a place we used to love,
    everything is as it was.

    I felt the presence of your absence.

    And here I am,
    looking for someone like you.
    an easy mistake to make,
    as anyone might do.

  • I Keep Looking Out

    When I walk about
    I think about
    maybe I’ll see you
    I keep looking out.

    Looking for you on the street.
    I glance up
    look inside a passing car.
    I hang around the shops,
    it’s lunch hour.
    Sunlight on the buildings
    aeroplane trails in the sky.

    When I walk about
    I think about
    maybe I’ll see you
    I keep looking out.

    A woman turns my head.
    Yes, it could be said:
    When I walk about
    I think about
    maybe I’ll see you
    I keep looking out

  • And There’s This Thought

    And there’s this thought that comes from nowhere
    I’m reminded that I won’t be seeing her
    And I wonder what’s happening to her
    With her, in her.
    And here I am
    In this urban landscape
    Silent and separate
    With everything to regret.

    And when the thought of her comes so suddenly
    It takes me away from all reality.
    And I wonder what’s happening
    To me, with me, in me
    As I go back to her place,
    Her place so small
    Yet somewhere I felt so secure.
    It’s her place I recall,
    It’s the thought of her place
    I’ve felt before.

    And I wonder what’s to happen
    to me, with me, for me
    As I stand in this urban landscape
    Silent and separate
    with everything to regret.

  • You Can’t Share

    There’s a circus in your head
    you can’t share.
    There’s a circus in your head that circles there.
    There are tears on the terraces
    unforeseen miseries in the game.
    The fruit machine offers something for nothing
    and takes everything.
    There’s farce and tragedy on stage and screen,
    you’re caught up in a car chase
    on a video game.
    There are circles in your head
    you can’t share.
    There’s a circus in your head
    that circles there.

    And the paradise garden will not reappear
    and on this summer’s day
    the way that you don’t love me
    won’t go away.

  • Across The Road

    She had sweet breath
    blonde hair,
    tattoo
    short skirt, rising legs,
    fake tan, nice pair.

    Everything’s all right
    if you don’t care.

    It’s not funny,
    ha ha but it is.
    She so loves me.

    She’s only a few minutes
    from my front door.
    Between the cars,
    across the road, I go over.

    She’s got sweet breath
    blonde hair, tattoo
    short skirt, rising legs,
    fake tan, nice pair.

    Everything’s all right
    if you don’t care.

    It’s not funny,
    ha ha but it is.
    She so loves me.

  • On Foot

    I’ve got a shiny
    hand-washed car,
    hot dog and coke
    from around the corner,
    and guess which one
    I saw,
    the one who used to be pregnant,
    had a child by god knows who
    Out there it’s a comedy
    if you’re never sober.

    I go down the slope
    on foot,
    past the speed camera.
    Shops close down
    people go from here.
    The sun pours down,
    she takes a photo.
    “You’re lovely,”
    she said,
    “I’ll be back later.”

  • In The Skies

    There I stand
    opening the car door,
    on holiday.

    She leaned forward
    slowly,
    brought her arm down.
    Light filtered through
    from the great unknown;
    long before there were
    buildings and people
    in the skies,
    centuries beyond.

    Look how the sky goes on,
    islands and other horizons,
    and her on the evening sands.
    The wind is more
    than it was,

    I kissed her soft mouth.
    I said something,
    her eyes were closed
    she said nothing.
    Like someone you once passed
    but never met
    would give you the most unhappiness.

  • You Know

    I’m living with the addictive gene
    Need the flow of adrenaline,
    And you know what addiction can do,
    I’m obsessed by the thought of you.
    Spoil me, ruin me, spin me, indulge me,
    I’ve got the fruit machine mentality.
    And I need you to share
    my addictive nature.
    All I want from you
    Is to be obsessed by it too.
    I need to lose, I want to win
    I’m a victim of the addictive gene.
    I’m obsessed by the thought of me,
    I’ve got the fruit machine mentality.

    I need to lose, I want to win,
    Need to be the centre of attraction.
    Spoil me, ruin me, spin me, indulge me,
    I’ve got the fruit machine mentality,
    I’ve got the addictive personality.

  • You Never Quite Know

    I’m in the pub again
    and she’ll be somewhere.

    You never quite know
    with the people you know,
    and I’ll never get back to telling her.

    God is either there or not
    I’m exactly right or absolutely wrong.
    And if you think about the old days
    you start to miss everyone.

    I’m sat at a table smoking,
    up and back to the fruit machine.
    Cherry, bell, cherry.
    Bell, cherry, lemon.

    Hollow is the world.
    hollow is my soul.
    Hollow are the heavens
    I can’t let go.
    Hollow is the pub,
    hollow is the hole.
    Hollow is the night,
    I have come to know.

  • Her Name

    I remember the night
    but not her name,
    the people at the bar, the fruit machine,
    the car I drove,
    her attractive friend
    the way she looked at me,
    and back home she came.

    And the minute someone is kind to you
    you feel better, you do.

    I remember the night,
    the way she looked at me,
    the dress she wore,
    my hand on her knee.

    And the moment someone is kind to you
    you feel better, it’s true.

  • So Listen

    The world passes through phases
    certain people make changes
    like us.
    But people can’t see through
    What is undone.
    Listen to the living voice,
    take what I am giving.
    Only man has given life meaning.
    so listen to your identity,
    it’s our only chance of seeing.
    Come on to the new horizon,
    lose yourself in the forest, wood, tree.
    it’s only dying into the new life,
    You must believe in what is meant to be.
    Look into the sun, sky, sea.
    We know what it is we want,
    What is to be done.
    It will be so beautiful,
    So final
    Dying into the new life.
    I can’t deny
    I’ve seen the other side.
    I can’t show you
    You gotta arrive alone.
    But what’s the use in looking
    When people don’t recognise what they are?
    It’s so clear
    people can’t see.
    It’s so sad,
    Listen to me.

  • The World Goes Round

    There’s a world outside I know
    And there’s a place inside I go –
    Both are sad.
    As meanings slip and slide
    I can’t grasp what it is
    In a life.
    But you can ask
    And while the world turns
    It’s turning all the time.
    The world goes round
    The world around
    And still I can’t explain
    The reasons why we remain.
    So picture the world
    And the world as a picture.
    Close your eyes
    And you’re there
    It’s no better no worse.
    It’s all we have,
    It’s how it looks
    is how it seems
    And all that goes on in dreams.

  • Everyone

    No one can fuse into you
    Carry that isolation.
    We have to understand alone
    Understand how to share on our own.
    When it hurts it’s hurting.
    I’m trying to accept all the regret.

    Full of contradictions and conflict,
    I’m trying to accept things,
    Learning to live with the crucifixion.
    It’s happened, it’s over, it’s done.
    What was it the world thought they were doing?
    And when I’ve been rejected
    There seems little incentive
    To keep chasing the game.

    But I’m getting to know what I know of me;
    We are all the same person.
    We are everyone.

  • Gone Are The People

    One woman was no better
    than the other;
    The end of a relationship brings me to another.
    There’s a lot of lonely people around here

    She leans back, pushes away her chair
    “What was that?” she says,
    as I go to kiss her.

    I make the same mistake,
    buy another drink.
    She don’t love me
    Why should she?

    In her heart she moves further away.
    Gone are the people
    from the table behind me

    I put my glass down,
    Check for messages on the phone.
    Now outside the pub
    the one I’ve just come from,
    in my pocket my money gone.

  • In The Street

    In the street
    people on their way,
    in the street-life of the street all day.
    Cigarette in hand, I hold it there.
    I look down to see where the self ends
    and here begins all of everywhere.

    The girls go about
    think about the boys all the time.

    I saw one earlier on
    She’s had loads, they say,
    She’s caused plenty,
    me being one.
    I hear those leaving steps gone behind me
    A taxi swings past the coffee shops and away.

  • People Pass

    She’s in the cafe,
    outside buses pass by.
    Her coffee cup casts a shadow,
    sunlight on the floor.

    They’re playing a song
    just like the last one;
    sunlight across the door.
    the hot sun begins.
    I look at her hair.
    Across the room she glances,
    the waitress at the counter
    she’s young
    in her looks an unhappiness
    through the window outside
    people pass.

  • Who Could Take Me Away

    I need a woman, a friend,
    To help bring me to the end.
    I need someone to hold me
    When I am wrong,
    To hold back the tears till I’m gone.

    So when the day has passed
    And my mind has been overcast
    I can lean on one elbow
    and remember a girl
    Who showed me something we could share,
    Showed me there was nothing to despair,
    Believed in what I could achieve,
    Showed me in who I could believe,
    Who could take me away
    From all those lonely pints in hotel bars,
    Late night conversations in parked cars,
    Evenings by the television,
    The emptiness that follows physical passion,
    Who could help me through this unrest
    And give me strength
    To see my weakness.

  • I Remember

    Up the stairs
    off the street
    down the place
    there’s a sea-side restaurant,
    a dance-floor.
    And in the late night
    I remember their names,
    the nice-looking ones.

    And when evening ends
    in the car
    in the car-park
    we embrace.
    In the darkness
    I feel your breath,
    I just wanted love
    like everyone else.

    She leans back
    this she does.
    In the sweet night
    I touch her face.
    I wanted love,
    like all the rest.

  • You’re There

    When I’m home I’m there,
    when you’re home I’m there
    When you’re home
    you’re there.

  • Beyond The Universe

    The sea is sparkling
    with summer in the sky
    June… July….
    I’m back in heaven
    where the pubs are open.
    Tell you one thing, I’ll win the lottery,
    That will show them.
    Across the street,
    The God particle is almost visible
    Beyond the universe, over the horizon
    Begins the start of everything.

    And in the picture she’s the one
    with glass of wine, blonde hair-
    she looks like a few famous names:
    what would I care?

    It’s been a long while since I was with her.

    Love lasts a bit, you get pulled into it,
    pushed away, pushed out of it.

  • When You’re Not You

    When I was young I had my fun,
    Gambling, drinking, that sort of thing.
    It was my way of saying
    If you don’t believe in me,
    How can I take life seriously?
    And now it’s time to cross the line
    And say that’s why I wasted my life away.
    Nobody saw – how can you expect people to see?
    Society would not let me be what I wanted to be,
    And I played the fool and everyone knew
    They couldn’t believe in me,
    So I couldn’t take myself seriously.
    And so I say that’s why I’ve wasted my life away.
    I’ve always concealed myself,
    never been real to myself.
    It’s so hard to be true
    when you’re not you.
    It’s so hard to change
    When people expect the same.
    And that’s why I say
    I wasted my life away.

  • I Am Here

    All my days have dreamed my life away
    And what I say is reality
    Could not make true the thoughts I say.
    No one gets into my sanity.
    I’ve seen so many people undone
    I know how mankind has suffered so.
    But in the end there’s nothing to be won
    And didn’t you know I just come and go.

    Four….five….six….seven
    I appear.
    I am not.
    I am here and then again

    Everyone’s got a little bit religion
    Everyone’s got a little bit indecision
    Everyone’s got a cross to bear.
    But I am here, and then again
    I am not.
    I appear.

  • To See the Meaning

    And when you scream at me
    It seems to me
    Undermining my identity.
    Identity crisis,
    Crisis me

    I want to be reborn right now
    With our skill I’ll be there somehow.
    When they’ve punished me
    By making me feel inferior
    And my life is full of fear,
    And there’s no encouragement or affection,
    I stand without direction.

    Somehow you must move on in joy,
    In distress you only destroy.
    You’ve gotta descend before you rise
    To see the meaning of your disguise.
    And everything with its meaning,
    In all the emptiness and distance
    No one can join you on your journey
    No one can touch you-

    No one can be me.

  • If We Knew

    I’m on the edge of coping,
    My heart is shaking my body.
    Why do we exist
    when there should be nothing in the universe?
    And if we knew,
    what difference would it make?

  • Through The Night

    The land is bright
    the way is clear
    for through the night parties.

    You wear the cross,
    the sower sows,
    the harvest grows
    and in the crops
    circles.

    And through the night we dance
    You wear the cross.
    The land is bright
    the way is clear
    the sower sows,
    the harvest grows
    and in the crops
    circles.

  • When We’re Dreaming

    The moon circles the trees,
    through the window the breeze.
    Bless us when we’re sleeping,
    bless us when we’re dreaming.
    I remember you holding on,
    the shape of your mouth,
    the scented room.

    It’s being kissed as I kiss you,
    it’s being kissed that’s beautiful.
    Bless us when we’re sleeping,
    bless us when we’re dreaming.

  • Believe Me

    I’ve got to feel part of it,
    to make sense of it.
    You’ve got to know someone
    to feel part of it.
    Believe me.

    I’m looking for someone that’s looking.
    I’m not waiting for anyone, anything
    I’m looking for someone that’s looking,
    believe me.

    I’ve got to feel part of it,
    to make sense of it.

    I’m not waiting for anyone, anything
    I’m looking for someone that’s looking.
    I’m not waiting for anyone, anything
    I’m looking for someone that’s looking.

  • I’m There

    When I’m home I’m there
    When you’re home you’re there.

  • In My Life

    The world is all uphill, downhill,
    are you in it?
    I rise and fall through the sunlight
    In my life I have ways of coping
    in the vastness of space
    where half of life
    is not knowing.

    All day thinking of you,
    on the streets in the sky
    trying to find you.

  • There’s Nothing

    There’s nothing more I can do
    People in the street
    on the street all day
    Street people
    on the street
    a street away.
    There’s nothing more to say
    People on the street
    in the street life
    of the street all day.

  • In The Sky

    Along the land I walk;
    in the sky, another layer of hills,
    at my feet
    tangled shadows and branches.

    And in the evening,
    down on the sea-front,
    that one across the bar
    kept looking at me.

    “Are you known?”
    “I am.”
    “I recognise you,
    what’s your name?”

  • And Down Again

    My sins are no-one’s fault
    but my own.

    Above me she rose
    and down she came.
    Up she rose
    and down again.
    Up she rose
    and down she came.

    Her sins are no-one’s fault
    but her own.

  • I Once Saw

    Your mother I once saw her
    outside her home.

  • In the Night

    Late last night
    we danced in the car park
    and when I woke
    I was in a church with my father.

    Last night we danced
    around clothes and beer bottles.
    Last night, in the night,
    we danced.

  • Who We Really Are

    Sometimes I get away
    Sometimes I go missing
    Sometimes I get lost.
    Sometimes I go drinking.
    Pint in hand,
    cigarette in the other,
    fruit machine in the middle.
    Sometimes I am unstable,
    travelling down a bad track.
    Sometimes you see yourself
    and don’t know what you are looking at.
    None of us know who we really are,
    none of us know who we’re looking for.
    We travel on, only get so far.

    Sometimes I get away.
    Sometimes I go missing.
    Sometimes I get lost.
    Sometimes I go drinking.

  • On The Homeward Track

    I’ve been up
    I’ve been through
    I’ve been in
    Took you too.
    I’ve found hope
    I’ve felt pain
    I’ve seen the hills
    I’ve felt the shame.
    I’ve come down,
    Walked the line
    Found the crack,
    Given time.
    I’ve been up
    Seen the dawn,
    Stayed in bed,
    I’ve been torn,
    I’ve been lifted,
    I’ve come round,
    I’ve fallen out
    And not been found.

    And I’ve lost my way
    On the homeward track.
    Lost my way
    On the homeward track.

  • Blue Sky

    There’s a blue sky today,
    the white clouds
    look like hidden mountains.

    I feel slightly unhappy;
    everything passes
    then comes back again.

    I got out the car
    and walked on the world;
    the sky began to lighten.

  • From Somewhere

    Some days would kick around
    Seagulls against the sky,
    would wonder if I could be saved by love

    None of us know where we are going
    that’s the truth of it.
    The universe, I guess,
    came from the heavens,
    the sky from somewhere else.
    And down into the street I would walk
    in my white summer jacket.
    Now I am old,
    my face shows it,
    my body is slowing down,
    I know it.
    I can’t go on,
    and on I go,
    I stand in the sun.
    The children have all left home,
    I’ve been married for the second time,
    and the papers never quite leave you alone.

    Drinks are carried
    from inside to outside.
    It’s a hot July afternoon.

  • After The Moon

    After today comes tomorrow,
    after the moon comes the sun.
    Time before and time after
    at the same time,
    where heaven and earth are one.

    There will come a day
    when there will be no yesterday.

  • I Can Now See

    The world doesn’t look the same as it used to.
    And what was it I was thinking?
    I can’t think:
    everything coming and going,
    my memory leaving.
    May the next life
    when I am young again,
    be as wonderful as this one.
    And as the women pass,
    they turn.

    I can now see
    how everything came to be
    in the garden at home
    above a blue silvery sky
    the whole of life inside me.
    Up through the light
    I reach the end.

    You love me and I love you
    love is everything
    and everyone.
    In the silence of space
    you will know
    love goes on
    after we are gone.